If strangers ask intrusive questions or indirectly communicate surprise upon meeting your daughter, they are being rude and entitled. My kids even asked me recently, “Are we ever going to sit out again before it gets too cold?” and I said “We would, but I don’t want to entertain the neighbors.” I don’t want to be rude—I just want to use my new backyard addition without neighbors joining in. • Join the live chat Mondays at noon. But Buddhism is more about addressing the suffering of the incarcerated men that makes it possible for the place where they sell these chips to turn a profit. My ex is moving out of state soon, and we’ve agreed I’ll have custody for the first few months. Buddha figurine and candles resting on a ledge. Learn more. Folks like the Buddhist Peace Fellowship see it as a foundational “cultivate the conditions for peace, social justice, and environmental sustainability within our selves, our communities, and the world.”. But I have to explore this part of myself. If I try to stop him from doing it, he enjoys the attention and will escalate the behavior, so I’m thinking I need to let it happen, but it’s pretty hard to be chill when your kid is covered in vomit. However, when mindfulness and presence are used exclusively as ways to physically improve an individual person’s life, we’re missing the point of Buddhism. And if the alternative is building a beautiful backyard fire pit that you never use because you’re too afraid to be firm with your neighbor—well, the choice is clear. Cultural appropriation, on the other hand, would look like buying “Navajo-inspired” designs, imitations of South Asian accessories, and decorations labeled “Japanese” from Urban Outfitters. Carolina Herrera was also embroiled in a cultural appropriation controversy last year. He seems convinced that he’s going to get a job and move back soon without any trouble. There seems to be an increasing understanding that white people wearing headdresses at Coachella is clearly cultural appropriation, but when it comes to folks putting on bindis, kimonos, or a hijab, we remain oblivious. What do I do? But few of these things are actually touching upon zen Buddhist teachings. Q. But I think our relationship has taken on a new charge lately, and I like it, and if you feel the same way, I think we should give it a shot” is likely to go over pretty well. And while I love these folks (I’m still listening to Lemonade on repeat), the fact that it’s so widely accepted for mainstream artists to don religious objects as costumes for music videos or performances illustrates that Asian spirituality isn’t treated with the same respect given to objects from Western religions. Buddhism is often used in this way to connote harmless – and indeed, ethical – fun. A: I agree that, since the neighbor sounds like a generally pleasant person and the letter writer seems somewhat interested in being friendly, setting up occasional, specific get-togethers is a lovely idea, and that it should still be accompanied by firm signals when a spontaneous conversation is eating into family dinner time. She is finishing her Ph.D in Ethnic Studies at UC Berkeley where writes on race, gender and economics. But this is the exact kind of suffering Buddhism seeks to stop. Adrian is fine, but I don’t like it. Scream, cry, write in your journal, vent to a trusted friend, talk to a therapist. And you’re already on your way to understanding more – after reading this, you’ve got the most basic takeaway down. When Victoria’s Secret … The word “zen” is plastered on candles, incense, and even lotion to that same effect. When cultural appropriation happens, marginalized groups are offended by the way their culture is being represented in society. Cultural Appropriation news and opinion. It assumes cultures are 100 percent original. Because racial justice is an integral part of a Buddhism. So, then, the “if I don’t get to wear my hair in cornrows, then you don’t get to have bangs” argument doesn’t really make sense. I am a middle-aged family man with four kids, and we love sitting out and looking at the mountains with our new fire pit. We’ve been together 25 years, if that matters, but we’re not married and don’t have children. However, it’s also been taken up as something that’s “cool,” marketable, and consumable. How do I tell him I’m done? Years later, I can’t get time with friends without him. Thank you! Something can be painful and true and reasonable all at the same time. He is right and I know he is right, but I can’t accept this on a gut level. However, every time we’re outside trying to have a bonding experience, this lonely neighbor comes over and wants to talk about his day (remember, no fences, so he can see the fire from acres away). Because cultural appropriation of Buddhism creates suffering for marginalized communities. Her work has been featured on Black Girl Dangerous, Nation of Change and the Feminist Wire. Gender appropriation, unlike cultural appropriation, is entirely permissible and even encouraged in the same liberal circles that berate caucasian girls … The Kardashian family has a long history of appropriation, and continue to build their empire with little regard for the communities from which … Because maybe you think it’s a neat addition to aesthetics of your living space. I suppose my point is that I don’t want to be an asshole, and I feel like it may be problematic for me to have these displayed, but I also appreciate the symbolism behind them. Our country was devastated at unprecedented levels by chemical and physical warfare. Lots of best friends are affectionate, but if yours has suddenly started holding your hand on long walks together, cuddling on the couch, and suggesting the possibility of sex and romance, I think you can safely say the signs are there. Their biological mother was a waste of space, but my stepsister is pregnant with a girl and plans to name her Amelia. All rights reserved. Lucky Buddha Enlightened Beer is another example of employing Buddhism to create catchphrases. You should not work to reassure them or satisfy their idle curiosity, but cut them off and draw them up short. You’re not sending the Little Match Girl out to die of exposure if you say, “Nice to see you, Fred, but I can’t catch up just now.” You’re just ending a friendly conversation, which is a perfectly normal thing to do. At least until you can fully appreciate their significance and/or have a Buddhist practice. I can’t tell my stepdad or my stepsisters. The signs are clear, right? Did I tell you what Suzanne said to me at work today?” Because it’s the phone, I can hang up, but it happens in person too. A: I’m so sorry that this has been so painful for you, and I hope you can ease up on yourself in some ways. Asian cultural practices are – with painful frequency – stripped of their context and meaning. The NFL Washington Redskins name & mascot — Are they cultural appropriation?. Racial Justice Cultural appropriation is real, and making "cases" for Anglicized "white" (Greek, Irish, British, Dutch, white Euro) names is ridiculous, seeing as those names are part of the cult of whiteness. Cultural appropriation is not just about who does or doesn’t get to participate in, wear, or try other cultures. Thankfully, we’re talking more and more about acts of cultural lifting in both academia and the mainstream. At the same time, I don’t want to name my daughter based on what other people will think of us and want to be able to honor my husband’s mom. My lawyer hasn’t been much help in this regard because in our state, dogs are considered property. They came with tiny little rakes and a little box of sand. Photo by Getty Images Plus. My partner needs their own social life: When my partner and I first started dating years ago, if I would go to a party or to hang out with friends, he would get upset if I didn’t invite him. We must engage with Buddhism the same way we would a Judeo Christian religion like Catholicism or Christianity. You buy it because it looks cool, and the only people who benefit are you and the corporation that’s mass-producing these items for a profit. And that means it’s rather jarring to see posts like the one below, which clearly indicate the popular use of prayer flags. I think I’m falling in love with them. They’re downright a good time. If anything is “problematic,” it’s that. You could buy them everywhere. At its most basic, Buddhism asks you to simply connect to human suffering and bring about its end. You will receive a link to create a new password via email. Following a semi-viral Twitter thread on hearing people learning sign language, Liam O’Dell speaks to actors Alim Jayda and Emily Howlett about whether hearing performers learning BSL in order to secure more roles is the latest development in the cultural appropriation debate. I used to enjoy sex, but now I view it as a painful chore. My Family Won’t Impose Boundaries on Our Creepy Neighbor. Alec Baldwin’s wife, Hilaria Baldwin, denies accusations of cultural appropriation and offers no apology in a new interview with the New York Times addressing her … Zen Buddhism advocates for  a level of spirituality that can’t be accessed through material items or simple words. You say you have to explore this part of yourself and that you believe you’d be happier single than in a sexual relationship—that’s useful information. If you’ve ever met a monastic, then you know they’re some of the most lighthearted and. My Mom Wants to Build a Shrine for My High School Boyfriend. Join Slate Plus to continue reading, and you’ll get unlimited access to all our work—and support Slate’s independent journalism. It’s also true that while your relationship to your mother is distinctly your own, she was also a mother to your stepsisters, and their relationship to her belongs to them. Here’s an edited transcript of this week’s chat. It should be my daughter. You pray before bed. The author writes that she owns and loves her prayer flags and knows what they stand for: “However, I’m also not a Buddhist and I do not practice meditation or other Buddhist practices; I have only a cursory understanding of Buddhism. Not exactly the most peaceful symbol to choose when you’re trying to create a tranquil atmosphere.. However, beyond their aesthetic appeal, Tibetan prayer flags are actually sacrosanct objects whose purpose isn’t necessarily to liven up a space. Most of the time, products like these are simply banking on Buddhism to make some cash. We know there are a lot of technical-sounding words here, so let’s break it down: The website warps Taoist teachings to sell its product by using faux quotes like “If you think that enlightenment is separate from the drinking of beer, you have not yet understood”. However, I have since come to realize this understanding of cultural appropriation is flawed. I mean, who would buy “Our Lord and Savior Popcorn” at Trader Joe’s? A short Pinterest search yielded Tibetan prayer flags used for a “Nepal themed” room, a professional photo shoot, and – my favorite – a “boho offbeat wedding.”. Buddhism is often used in this way to connote harmless – and indeed, ethical – fun. Be that as it may, perhaps we can still ask if “white Buddhism” is cultural appropriation. Just walking around my city, I see frequent examples of not only the cultural appropriation of Buddhism, but also uses of it that explicitly counter Buddhist beliefs. Oxford Dictionary defines cultural appropriation as “the unacknowledged or inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, ideas, etc. Crossing the line into cultural appropriation. Talking about it isn’t that much riskier—it just means you’re acknowledging what’s already there. My boyfriend tells me that if we have a girl, we can call her Amy or Lia or switch up my mother’s middle and first name. As they blow in the wind, they confer blessings and peace. Ditch ’em. 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